Boudia talks impact of 'Weight of Gold,' and more

Five-time Olympic diving medalist David Boudia was a recent guest on "Gold and Black LIVE." The Boilermaker legend talked about his recent appearance on the HBO documentary "The Weight of Gold" which details the struggles with mental illness and depression of elite Olympic athletes and more. Here is an excerpt of our interview with the video of the entire interview imbedded below.

GoldandBlack.com: You were a participant in the recent HBO “The Weight of Gold.” How did you get involved?

Boudia: It was 2019 when I was introduced to a gentleman who was part of helping putting this documentary together with (swimming Olympic champion) Michael Phelps. The major thing that Michael wanted to get out of this was to introduce the fact that elite athletes, just like everybody else, struggle (with mental health issues and depression). So whether you're in the office and you're not enjoying what you're doing, and you immediately get depressed or you're trying to pursue this huge outlandish dream like become an Olympic gold medalist, depression doesn't discriminate. I knew that with his story and multiple other Olympic athletes, I wanted to be part of this to kind of share with the world that this is quite common in elite athletics.

GoldandBlack.com: Were your personal battles difficult to share with the whole world?

Boudia: That’s a good question. If you go back to 2008-2009, I’d say it would be a struggle (for me) to share that I was in severe depression to the point of contemplating suicide. But by 2010 (I realized) it was something that I wanted to share, because it was something that I was able to go through. It was not great at the time; it sucked, to be honest. But you come out of something like that and you're able to help others who are dealing with something like that.

Looking back, when I started to pursue the Olympic journey, I was seven years old. That's what I wanted to do when I grew up. The main goal was to be at the Olympic Games. I didn't know what sport that would be (when I was a kid), but I found myself at my first Games in 2008. I think one of the biggest things that fostered my depression was the fact that I was putting everything that I hoped for in the Olympic Games. I came out of the 2008 Olympic Games broken, I didn't accomplish everything that I wanted to, and so it was like somebody swept the rug underneath my feet and I was kind of directionless. I didn't know what my purpose was and so that led to the point of just severe depression.

GoldandBlack.com: On the surface, one looks at David Boudia in 2008 and say, unbelievable that you make those accomplishments and how great it is just to be there.

Boudia: Right. I mean, it's exactly what you said. You put your eggs in one basket, and you are going down, this journey and hoping that this one particular moment in your life is going to define you, and then also at the same time giving you all the fulfillment and hope that you would ever want. So from seven years old to 19 years old, everything that I did was motivated to my happiness and success at my first Olympic Games. And after the Olympics were finished in Beijing, I found the exact opposite. I felt alone, even though I was kind of riding on the success and the popularity that I got from my first Olympic Games, but you feel isolated. Essentially, 2020 was all about isolation. So it doesn't surprise me that when you're alone in your struggles in a lockdown situation like 2020, that depression rate and suicide rate is going up because of it.

GoldandBlack.com: With the release of the documentary, come have you formed any additional bonds with Phelps, Lolo Jones, Sasha Cohen and the other elite athletes featured?

Boudia: I think leading up to the release of it, there was lost of communication between us. Six months before it was released, Brett Rapkin, who was in charge of putting the documentary together, wanted our opinion on if it was telling the right story of the struggle of an elite athlete. I think every single one of us said it was fantastically done.

It's not an easy watch. You don't walk away from the documentary saying okay, that's awesome. Let's go do XYZ. I think it's super helpful for a young parent whose kids are in sports to know exactly the potential danger and know how to help and encourage them through the process.

GoldandBlack.com: The common thread among these elite athletes is that they are on the precipice of glory while teetering in emotional ruin.

Boudia: I think Lolo Jones actually put it perfectly. It's like a conveyor belt where you're training and you have to be the best at that certain time but once you say you're done competing, they can drop you and they're on to the next new hot fab fad.

I think a lot of these athletes who are struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide are contemplating that because they’re it at that particular moment, but once it's gone, you're kind of looking around, like, I've just invested 20 years of my life for this moment. And that was it.

So we have to find hope in something. Thankfully, I have my faith. The depression and that stage of my life is kind of what introduced me to my faith. So before 2009, I had a little bit of a background in religion, but it wasn't until I wrestled with this weighty topic that that I found my faith.

GoldandBlack.com: You're not asking for people to feel sorry, you're asking for them to understand.

Boudia: That’s exactly it. I don't think any one of us went on that documentary and was like, I hope I go on there and get sympathy from people. That is the exact opposite. if there's a young athlete, just hoping to go to the Olympic Games, or be a collegiate athlete at a major university, or the NBA, or whatever it is, I think there's value in making sure that they are aware of the vulnerability and people around you that you're talking to.

Everyone else doesn’t struggle the mental illness (side of this). So you again, you feel alone

GoldandBlack.com: Tell me where you are right now and how you feel heading into the 2021 Ollympics?

Boudia: I had a hiccup in September, where I had my first surgery ever and it's taken me this long to now just get back to the pool. So I’m getting back in shape, and now trying to retrain my body. But I'm confident five months from now at the Olympic trials in June in Indianapolis that we can get the job done. But again, that outside adversity has to at one point be blocked out and put your head down to get the job done.

GoldandBlack.com: You are 31 now? Would you trade your physical abilities from a decade ago for the perspective you have now?

Boudia: I would take the experience over the physical ability any day of the week. When I came back after 2016, I took about a year and a half off. I didn't have to learn how to compete. It was my experience that helped keep me through that.

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